Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature (2024)

So much unrecognized privilege

Chapter after chapter of me, me, me. A wealthy woman with help complains. Is her life too busy for time with her kids? whose fault is that? It's not like she needs to work to feed and house her family. Cry, cry, cry. I don't know anyone in my life who cries at the drop of a hat like she does. Book/author. Book/author, etc. chapter after chapter. It's a list, not a discussion or comment about the book or author. Her upper class school days gave her many people she could call on to start a career, and move from one career to another. I found her a shallow character, frequently jumping on an airplane with her husband to fly cross-country for a fun weekend. Sorry, but I can't recommend this book to my friends.

Don't be misled by this title. This is a memoir about love and loss, yes, but not literature. Owens simply drops the names of books she was reading at certain times into the text, spending less time on them than she does on describing outfits or meals. As an avid reader, I feel cheated.

BOOKENDS: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature -- a powerful memoir by the incredibly talented Zibby Owens -- was a ONE-SITTING WOW READ for me. It is the story of Zibby’s life, love, loss, pain, gain, and is filled with lessons and self-discovery in a world where books provided her the ultimate escape. Zibby doesn’t hold back, and I connected with her journey on many levels. I found myself rooting for her, especially in those moments when she was hardest on herself. Brilliant, inspiring, and at times, heartbreaking, Zibby’s story is beautifully written -- a must-read for young women trying to discover who they are and who they want to be, a must-read for middle-aged women who yearn to reinvent themselves, and a must-read for ALL who have spent a lifetime with a nose in a book.

This book was awful. Don’t read it. Maybe if you’re already familiar with the author’s life and professional work, or if you’re a NY socialite, it would make more sense. But for someone who didn’t know who she was, I found this book hard to read. It has limited appeal in terms of the audience who can relate to it. It seems like all she does is complain - when her professional ideas don’t take off or attract attention, it’s waaah waaah waaaah, why doesn’t anyone want me, rather than introspection to see what else she might do.

*****SPOILERS*****

There were events in her life that she seemingly just assumed we knew about, as she never explicitly said the thing had happened, which was confusing b/c I assumed one thing when in reality, it was something else. For example, her divorce. When she started seeing the guy who was eventually going to be her second husband, I assumed she’d cheated on her husband since nowhere in the book did she bother telling us she divorced her first husband.

Moreover, she spends pages upon pages describing her earlier relationships, and then when she gets married, it’s literally “oh, and I got married.”

She lists the books she was reading at any point in her life w/o saying the impact they had on her or why she’d chosen those. It’s just a list of titles. The book has nothing to do with literature. “I read INSERT BOOK TITLE HERE.” That’s how much insight we have into literature from this terrible book.

And when she starts her own company, she claims to be doing unique things w/o actually saying how her company is any different from the others in the field. She certainly name drops by telling us whose books she’s publishing, but so what? Why are they significant? Why is her publishing company unique? No clue.

Her trope of “moms don’t have time to…” is also annoying. I know moms who do read books and do whatever else she claims they don’t have time for. I get that it might be a catchy name for a podcast, but please, this constant harping on how busy moms are is old and worn. CEOs are busy. Marathon runners are busy. People with “normal” jobs - guess what, they’re busy too. People who don’t have as much privilege as she does - also busy!

Lastly, I can’t get over how extraordinarily entitled she comes across in this book. Her family is wealthy, she was born into it, and she seemingly doesn’t have to hold a job down or any regular source of income. Ok, fine, I accept that some people have that situation. But all she does is complain about how hard her life is, and she seems to take her extreme privilege for granted. There is no insights into herself, seemingly no growth and development of her own character - just a list of events that happened to her and her accompanying whine, whine, whine about each one.

Maybe she’s a great podcaster or publisher or whatever she is, but based on this book, I have no interest in consuming anything else from her.

I came to this book when it popped up as an Amazon First Read. As I began Owen’s memoir. I thought “I’ve found my people. She loves and devours a good book like me.” It started so well written, so honest, and so full of life. By mid- novel I was growing tired. Owen has struggled through a great deal and I appreciate her willingness to share. Her loss has been tragic yet it began to feel a little tired, a little whiny, and a lot like a documentary of this happened and then there was this feeling and then that happened. Somewhere I felt less narrative and more documentation. I think had I been a fan of her writings or podcasts (I didn’t know about either until the book) I would have been less annoyed and felt more buoyed by her honesty and sharing.

There is a story to tell and it does drop the names of books I want to read and I think I’d love the podcast and affiliate projects. I just wasn’t that impressed by bookends.

You know the interview question people always ask—“What is your greatest weakness?” And the way hopeful young applicants inevitably answer something about being too much of a perfectionist?

That, right there, is the reason why I’m not normally much of a memoir reader. To me, it always feels like there’s too much spin, too much gloss, too much hype. Of course, I understand the hesitation to reveal one’s true self on the page. What kind of person wants to be that honest? What kind of person is willing to share all the messy confusion of their life in such a raw, unfiltered way?

Zibby Owens, that’s who.

In her new memoir, Bookends, Zibby does what her legions of followers have already grown to love her for—she lets us in and shares her feelings without a second of hesitation. She shares her heartache, her loss, her love, her fear, her failure, and her success. She does this all through the lens of the stories that cracked her open and helped her to persevere.

Over the past few years, I’ve been lucky enough to get to know Zibby and her generous spirit. This is a book that only she could write, and readers will be drawn to every earnest, beautiful, inspiring word.

I did at least finish the book, but I am not sure why I did. This was an Amazon Prime first reads book and I am participating in Zibby Owens' 22 in 22 initiative of going to 22 bookstores in 2022, so I thought I might like to know about the person in charge. It is not her fault she had very wealthy parents and grandparents and lived a life of privilege but I am not sure why she thought us regular folk would want to read about her life of privilege. Flying to the Hamptons by helicopter for the weekend, always being driven around in a town car. My favorite was when she was put on bed rest with her first pregnancy and her first thought was, gotta hire a housekeeper. Someone has to let the new puppy out to pee and clean the house. Most of us don't have that luxury. She gets a business phone call. No problem she leaves the kids with the nanny to talk on the phone. I have kids screaming in the background and dogs barking on my phone calls. She takes a year off after 9/11 to write a book that no one wanted to read. Once again, most of us cannot just not work for a year. She has had a lot of people die in her life. So have the rest of us but we have to still go to work the next day and take care of our kids. We do not have the resources that she had to get through her life. There is just no relating with her. She said at the beginning of the book that she was leaving out her first marriage and divorce to protect her children and family, but wrote about her affair! That's not awkward for your children and family? The Literature part I actually enjoyed. She just mentions the books she was reading through different phases of her life. There is a list at the end of all of the books mentioned. Her second husband's grandmother makes a delicious crumb cake so I did order one to try it out.

"Macy's Day float" -It is Thanksgiving Day, not Macy's Day. Just a pet peeve of mine.

"On the page, I could always be me. Writing didn't scare me. It welcomed me with open arms and gave me an outlet for the ideas and comments fighting to come out of my brain. So I turned to it again and again."

"Good enough would have to do. Not everything could be perfect. It was one of the most important lessons I learned at business school."

"I couldn't carry one more thing. I had to leave so I could start to heal."

"Ghostwriting was the perfect career solution. It was what I'd been trying to do with my novel anyway: write about ghosts."

Zibby's a force in the publishing world. Her willingness to support others is unlike any other. While she shares openly and generously online, there's quite a bit of heartache and loss revealed in her moving memoir. I commend anyone who has the ability to share their vulnerability with a cruel, often opinionated world. If there's one takeaway, it's Zibby's resiliency and courage. Whether literature or love, family or friendship, she follows her heart and gives it her all.

I was so honored to get an advanced copy of Zibby's memoir, BOOKENDS. Zibby is known in the book community for her incredible support of other authors, so it was pure joy to get a chance to read her own story.

In a time where everything is so fake, Zibby Owens tells the truth. In her moving memoir, she lays herself bare, relaying stories of intense love, unbearable loss, and everything in between. Raw and uncensored, honest and brave, I couldn’t put it down.

Spare, Honest, Heartbreaking, Hopeful

Zibby Owens has become a publishing powerhouse with her own imprint, podcast empire and long list of well connected friends. But in her memoir, we see her origin story: socially anxious booklover with money, depression and so much loss in her backstory. With true honesty and a peppy pace, Bookends is a satisfying and inspiring story of books, ends and beginnings.

I don’t remember the last time I read a book in one day. I tore through every page of Zibby’s raw, and moving memoir all written with her signature honesty, wit and brilliant capacity to connect with the reader.

I believe this was one of the June books of the month for Amazon folks. Found the writing style quite simplistic and too juvenile (regardless that yes, the author is young in part of the book). Found the author's experiences with books to be unenlightening, un-unique, and therefore uninteresting. DNF.

As others have stated, this book is meandering, stream of consciousness whining. I mean, I’m sorry Zibby’s best friend died. So did mine. I’m sorry her grandfather died. So did mine—as did the rest of my grandparents and both my parents. Does that make you feel sorry for me? Because that seems to be Owens’ only point. The events she writes about occur in many people’s lives. To be sure, they are sad events. But we read books like this because we continue to cling to that grief and long for new insight into dealing with it. We want to feel that someone else shares our feelings. We want to say, “Yes, that’s exactly it!” and “maybe I’ll try doing what she did, or thinking about it that way.” We don’t get any of that here. Owens doesn’t put a particularly interesting spin on things, nor does she teach anything new or unique. I kept reading, hoping her writing would improve. We get minute details about Weight Watchers, only to have her skip over significant life events with (paraphrasing) “Meanwhile, I dated, started a relationship, got married and had twins.” Then she gushes about how much she loves her maid. As if that is supposed to bring her down to my level? Please.

No, Owens did not appear to learn anything from the difficulties thrown at her. I’m just sorry I paid for this book instead of borrowing it from the library.

Okay, so let's just get it out of the way, Zibby Owens comes from privilege and overwhelming wealth that most of us can't relate to. But Zibby Owens is a woman who has experienced deep love, excruciating loss and books have been by her side and her saving grace. Her memoir, BOOKENDS (LittleA) is her personal journey starting at childhood up until now, a wife and mother of four.

I've known Libby for some time and I'm grateful for her sharing her honest, intelligent coming of age story. During the pandemic, I participated in her zoom book-clubs and listened to her podcasts. She was a refreshing, positive voice during a very difficult time for many of us. She introduced us to books and authors, while facing her own challenges behind the scenes.

I can relate to having social anxiety and depression and thank her for putting her personal experience out there for all to read and know. It takes courage to share suffering from these diseases which still carry societal stigma. I'm sure it wasn't easy at times for Zibby to put one foot in front of the other and take the next step, but she did and by reading her memoir, BOOKENDS, I believe we're better for it.

Personally, I love memoirs. I always learn something interesting from immersing myself in another persons story.

Gretchen Rubin says we all need to have a spiritual master and Zibby Owens is mine. Seriously. While I cannot relate to her wealth and status, I CAN relate to her love of books, the universal struggle to battle anxiety and depression and to figure out what comes next. A fellow book-lover, Zibby reads her way through life as I do, using the words and pages to heal and renew. And while that is enough to lead the way as a mentor from afar for me, her journey to claim her bookish passion and help others find the role of books in their lives is inspiring me to do the same. There might be an obstacle in my way right now, but seeing her pivot over and over again means I can, too.

I REALLY wanted to like this. And description leads you to believe it is a literary journey. It is not. It is a journey if privilege, entitlement, and constant victim hood

Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss and Literature
By: Zibby Owens
5❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Zibby has done so much for authors and mothers over the years. Her memoir is touching, truthful, and transparent. She touches on her childhood, loss of friends, 9/11, relationships and mental health. ❤️‍🩹

I love that she is not afraid to share so much of her. She is very vulnerable like most of us. I was a single parent and I could relate with the struggle sometimes.

I am proud to be a Zibby Ambassador and cannot wait to see all the events and authors she brings to us this year. Thank you Zibby for sharing part of your world and being so transparent.

#bookends, #zibbyowens, #memoir, #littlea, #bookstagram, #booksconnectsus, #bookreview, #stamperlady50, #loveandloss

I listened to this memoir and I love that Zibby was the narrator!!

Zibby details all the good and bad that has happened in her life. From weight problems to her parents divorce, and to the loss of friends. Zibby puts everything out there for the readers to read!! She also details all that she has done to get where she is today. She is a podcaster, owner of Zibby Books which will be publishing its first book in Feb 2023, a published author, a mother, a wife and so much more!! She also lists books that she was reading during certain points in her life.

I highly recommend the audio for this book!!

*Amazon First Reads title*

I wanted to like this book a lot more than I did in the end. Being a bookworm and having recently experienced a significant loss, it seemed like a story that would resonate with me. But I found that there was just so much about the author’s life that I couldn’t relate to at all. Her extremely privileged NYC upbringing felt very foreign to me. Normally, I’d say, “Well, isn’t that exactly one of the reasons we read?” but for some reason, in this case, I felt that it just made it difficult to connect with her story.

The losses that Zibby has endured are numerous, and it got really heavy after a while. Some of them, most notably the recent loss of her husband’s mother and grandmother to Covid, were given very little time. Maybe it’s just a reflection of my current state of mind, but the aspects of the story about loss left me feeling more weighed down than hopeful.

Another thing I didn’t like is how she completely cut out her first marriage. She explains in the intro that she wanted to protect the privacy of her first husband and her four kids, and I can’t fault her for that, but in a memoir that traces her entire life from childhood to the present day, it left a noticeable hole in the narrative.

Finally, as several other people have noted in their reviews, the “literature” part of this book largely consisted of name-dropping books she was reading during a particular part of her life. It just didn’t feel as integrated or organic as I would have hoped.

All that said, the book held my attention enough that I finished it in a few days rather than shelving it as DNF. Let’s put it this way: if the author writes another book, I probably won’t be preordering, but I will certainly be open to giving it a try.

2.5 rounded up to 3

2.5 stars. The memoir was fine but based on the cover, title, and the description I was expecting MUCH MORE BOOK TALK! There would be one line at the end of the chapter that would mention what book she read during that time in her life. Oh no no! I have read other book and reading memoirs that were actually about that and went into depth about the books they read and the impact they had on their life. This is not that. And that's what I wanted. Full disclosure I only read the first 1/3 then skipped ahead twice randomly, I spotted no book talk.

Success is easier for the privileged, not that she doesn’t hustle hard but having connections sure help. And falling for the tennis coach? Cliched and I question his motivation.

Easy to read, and relatable especially about her best friend I burst into tears, however, in some parts of the book I can't figure out what happened to her first husband. She also listed the books she's reading however she didn't mention why she read them or how that books help her during that time. Maybe I expected too much in this book or from her. I don't know.

Zibby Owens is known for TV appearances, recommending the latest must reads. She has gained a huge following with podcasts and virtual appearances extolling the reality that real moms don’t have time. Bookends lays open her heart and soul in an honest, non-apologetic compilation of the life events that define Zibby. A self-described over achiever, born into a life of privilege, her life was not without struggles, disappointment and loss. The loss of her best friend on 9/11. The loss of another friend to suicide. And the deep hurt she suffered, losing her mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law to COVID. Bookends rawly exposes difficulties common to us all as we age and mature.
Where to go to college, what to study, what career to pursue and who to love, to name a few. There were stumbling blocks, but Zibby used those as starting blocks. Though often overwhelmed, depressed and shedding buckets of tears, she exposed her true self within the pages. I found this dynamo to most closely resembling inflatable clowns, who, when punched bounced right back.
Through hard work and determination, being a mom of four and a business woman extraordinaire, she has only scratched the surface of where she’ll go from here. It is only fitting that she found true love the second time around,in a man who adores and supports her and is the happy ending to this story.

This woman can't write.

Thank you Amazon First Reads for providing me another substandard book -free.

One of my favorite genres is memoirs. So I choose this book from the June 2022 First Reads selection.

So many things wrong with this book. Although she mentions dozens and dozens of books, she doesn't share how even one of these books changed her life. She may have written the book and then added the books she read during each chapter. I wonder if she gets a share of the sales of books mentioned in the book.

I found her "sharing" to be superficial and incomplete. For instance, she shares about a number of lovers while she was young and then, boom, she says she met someone and got married. His name is not in the book and from that point on, it seems like she is a single mom, but no, she is
married and has four children by this man. Although she is devastated by her parent's divorce, she doesn't mention how her behavior effects her children.

I could go on, but won't.
Never heard her podcast, never will. Do not waste your time reading this book.

Disappointing

My understanding was that this book was about how the author’s love of reading helped her though difficult times in her life. Nope. Every so often we get a long list of the books she read during an indeterminate passage of time. Nothing about how they related to her experiences, how they effected her or how she felt about them.
The majority of the negative reviews are about the author’s privileged life and how it is difficult to relate to. I did not have any issues with that. I did find it extremely disconcerting that while proclaiming to be open and honest about her life, her first marriage is never mentioned. The story completely skips meeting, dating and marrying her first husband. She goes from a single woman struggling with an eating disorder to pregnant with twins. Apparently all of her children were immaculate conceptions. Even if privacy was an issue there were far better ways to deal with this than pretending it never happened. It felt dishonest and changed the way I felt about the book and it’s author.

Zibby Owen’s memoir, Bookends: A memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature is the most engaging memoir I’ve read. I couldn’t put it down! Zibby has a magical way with telling her story that is completely authentic and relatable. I felt like I was there with her going through the all the losses she experienced and the love she found. The way she talks about the books she read going through each pivotal moment is a unique way of remembering life’s moments that most people wouldn’t expect. This is a perfect book for anyone at any stage of their life – the 20-something who is trying to figure out who they are to the middle aged woman who needs inspiration.

I admit that I had to put aside my bigotries toward the rich, but once I did, I was won over by Zibby Owens' wonderfully friendly, warm and accessible voice. Her passion for reading and writing is remarkable. She’s a true bookworm, developing a love for literature as a child and never letting go. That she turned that passion into a career focused on helping other writers (regardless of their differences and backgrounds, rich or poor or anywhere in-between) is an act of generosity, kind-heartedness and good fortune for all writers, known and not-so-well known. The book world is lucky to have her, as it is for Bookends, her own contribution to the literature she loves so much.

I’m fairly new to knowing who Zibby Owens is. I’ve heard her referenced by The Today Show and also my sister. Her life story and how she created her brand was interesting. Most of the books she casually refers to I have read as well. This was not about those books though but about how she became a “book podcaster” and writer. I read a few reviews that said she was white privilege personified. Well you don’t pick who or what you are born into. Seems to me she has done well in her own right.

Don't be fooled by the title of this book. It has nothing to do with literature. The author just name drops books throughout as she goes through life but doesn't tie them back to anything going on in her life. It wasn't well-written in my opinion and I was irritated most of the time and started skimming towards the end.